10/1/2022
 
For many years after my breast cancer diagnosis and treatment in 2000,  I felt the saturation of pink in October – Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  After collecting pink hats from the Komen Foundation’s Race for the Cure, pink paraphernalia at the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life, and pink ribbons and pens at my annual mammogram, I felt the pink fatigue. 
 
I understand the need to continue to raise awareness and funds for breast cancer research and treatment.  It’s the most common cancer among women in the U.S.   It’s estimated that this year, 30% of newly diagnosed cancers in women will be breast cancers, and that in the U.S., 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer over her lifetime.
 
However, I also know that many other types of cancer have not gotten the attention that breast cancer has.  And I have many loved ones and friends who have experienced those cancers.  So I have at times cringed at the attention to breast cancer – and the preponderance of pink in October.
 
And then I got a new breast cancer diagnosis in February of this year (2022).    My experience was quite different from the first time, and I believe it was at least in part due to the research efforts over the years – technology for earlier detection, less invasive surgery, shorter radiation treatment protocols, and tests that indicate likelihood of recurrence and also likely benefit from chemotherapy.  All of those advances, which benefited me directly, are the result of funding and research.   I’m awed by the changes and grateful to the scientists, advocates, and donors.
 
Shortly after my diagnosis, I met with a nurse navigator who recommended three reliable websites for information about breast cancer. 
 
https://breast360.org/
 
https://www.breastcancer.org/
 
https://drsusanloveresearch.org/
 
 
If you or someone you know might need information or support, I encourage you to take a look.
 
 
Now – why am I writing this on my yoga blog? 
 
It might surprise you to learn that less than 15% of women who get breast cancer have a family member (parent, sibling, or child) who has had it.  That is important to know!
 
There are lots of other factors that may contribute to creating the conditions for breast cancer to develop. (By the way, based on the size and growth factor of my tumor, the doctors speculated that it had been growing – albeit slowly – for about 9 years.)
 
Lifestyle factors are important, including nutrition, sleep, movement, and stress reduction.
 
Slow, mindful yoga can help with these factors – not only to reduce chances of an occurrence or recurrence, but to help manage the diagnosis, treatment, and healing. There’s a growing body of research on how yoga can support cancer patients and those in recovery and beyond. 
 
Awareness is important.  Knowledge and research are, too.
 
So while I still cringe a bit when I see the pink,  I no longer pooh-pooh it. 
 

I was diagnosed with Stage I breast cancer in February of this year.  A lumpectomy removed all visible signs of the small tumor, and removal and analysis of a few lymph nodes showed no spread.  The standard protocol in cases like mine is a course of radiation to (hopefully) eliminate any cancer cells that remain.
 
My treatment protocol was 21 days.  Every weekday, I went to the (new!) cancer center here in Medford.  I was usually there about 15 minutes, with the treatments lasting 20-40 seconds each.  There was, of course, a little wait time and set-up time before each treatment.
 
That’s not much time, in the greater scheme of things, and yet there was plenty of time to be anxious, fearful, and stressed.   And my yoga practice came through.
 
Yoga is a practice for body, mind, and spirit. With slow, mindful yoga, I’ve learned to tune into my body and breath, and I’ve developed skills in shifting my nervous system based on what I need.  With yoga tools, I can calm my anxious thoughts and tense body.  I can bring myself into the present and out of that place of fear and worry that comes with a cancer diagnosis. 
 
Here are some specific ways that the tools of yoga helped me through the radiation treatments:
 
Breathing:   On the treatment table, when I felt stressed and maybe a little claustrophobic, I could slow down my exhale and move my body from the stress response to the relaxation response.
 
Visualization: When I had to lie completely still during set up and treatments, I used this tool. Sometimes I visualized my favorite places in the world; sometimes I visualized specific parts of my body. (If you’ve been in my class, you’ve experienced this type of guided relaxation.)
 
Poses and movement: I often did yoga poses and movement while in the waiting room to be called in for treatment. (There was rarely anyone else there.) Sometimes I did poses that I knew would calm my body, and other times I felt like tapping into my inner strength with more active poses.
 
Interoception: This is the ability to sense what’s going on inside our bodies.  Interoception can help in many ways, including getting a sense of our normal internal state, being able to sense when a change has occurred, and  giving us a better barometer for reporting to our doctor what side effects we are feeling, and how they differ from other sensations that might not be treatment-related. 
 
Here's what I consider one of the most important benefits of interoception: a sense of agency.  Bessel Van Der Kolk, in his book The Body Keeps the Score, notes that “agency is the technical term for the feeling of being in charge of your life.”  He goes on to say, “Agency starts with what scientists call interoception, our awareness of our subtle sensory, body-based feelings: the greater that awareness, the greater our potential to control our lives.” 
 
When you get a cancer diagnosis, much feels out of your control.  You can feel untethered from the earth and unsure how to move forward.  When you’re in treatment, it may feel like you are moving forward, but with someone else’s plan and schedule.
 
My yoga practice gives me some agency over how I respond to what is happening and where I have choices. 
 
In the treatment room, when the machine starts delivering the 20 seconds of radiation, a red light flashes the words “Beam On.” 
 
That is what I intend to do.

One of the gifts of a yoga practice is the opportunity to develop greater resilience and equanimity – the ability to face challenges with balance and grace. In fact, as noted in the book Yoga for Healthy Aging (Baxter Bell and Nina Zolotow), equanimity is perhaps the most important tool for aging well.   No matter what physical challenges we encounter (and we most certainly will, as we age), we can call upon our skills in equanimity to help us navigate.
 
Nine years after a breast cancer diagnosis and treatment in 2000, I began taking yoga classes on the recommendation of my integrative physician.  In the years since then, I have deepened my yoga practice at all levels – postures and movement, breathing, meditation, and yoga philosophy.   All those components have helped me develop strength, flexibility, balance, and some level of equanimity.
 
When I was faced with a new breast cancer diagnosis a few months ago, it was both a familiar and an unfamiliar challenge. I gathered all my tools, including those that I’ve acquired through my yoga practice. This journey is going to be different.  I’m a different person than I was in 2000 – not in my essence, but in my ability to observe, accept, and act with self-compassion. 
 
I did not choose to be back in the cancer world as an active patient, but it is the challenge in front of me.   And right now, it feels very manageable. The small tumor and a few lymph nodes were surgically removed. The lymph nodes were free of cancer.  I don’t need chemotherapy, and I’ll have a shorter course of radiation treatments than last time.   Much has changed in breast cancer detection, surgery, analysis, and treatments since 2000. (Thanks, science!)
 
I also know that my yoga practice will support me. It meets my body, mind, and spirit where they are every day. It’s about moving, breathing, and meditating in ways that feel safe, accessible, and supportive.  Yoga has given me greater skills in self-awareness so I can make choices based on how I feel in the moment.  It’s also given me the practice of self-compassion and grace.  
 
Cancer got me into yoga.  And yoga is getting me through cancer this time so I can live well and age well every day.    As noted in the book Yoga for Cancer (Tari Prinster), “Cancer steals your breath. Yoga gives it back.”
 
I’m both humble and realistic enough to recognize that as I age, I’ll continue to face challenges – and so will you. It’s the nature of being alive.  When we understand that there is the possibility to face challenges with equanimity, we can step beyond hope and into action.
 
So as you ponder how to age well and face life’s challenges, I invite you to consider yoga as part of your plan.  If you want support getting started, send me a message with your email address so we can explore some possibilities.