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My husband and I love the old Perry Mason show, which was broadcast for 9 seasons beginning in 1957. We both have fond memories of watching it back then with our parents. It was the highlight of Sunday evenings, even though we probably didn’t get much of it as we were quite young.
But we do like to watch it now. We started when the pandemic hit in 2020, and by now we’ve watched most episodes at least twice. We love to pay attention to the musical scores, the character development, how Perry treated his clients (and his assistant, Della!), how the actors (Raymond Burr, Barbara Hale, and many others) changed, and much more. We’ve noticed something that Perry says to his clients frequently. He is a criminal defense attorney, and there is a murder in every episode, so somewhere in the first half of most episodes, he encounters the person who will ultimately be charged with murder but hasn’t yet been arrested or tried. He shares a piece of advice frequently with people who are about to be arrested for murder and they know it. “Go home and get some sleep,” he’ll say. Or “Calm down and get some rest.” That is ridiculous advice for someone waiting for the police to decide that she/he is the most likely murder suspect. As was noted in a meme I saw recently, “Never in the history of calm down has anyone calmed down by being told to calm down.” I was reminded of the ridiculousness of this last summer when I read a magazine for cancer survivors. (I’m one of those survivors!). It had an article with advice for newly diagnosed cancer patients. I can’t remember the exact words, but the idea was that it can be stressful to get a cancer diagnosis (no kidding!), and it’s good to be able to calm our nervous system and reduce our anxiety. “Calm down and get some rest.” Ok, sure, but much easier said than done. Yes of course, reducing our stress is a great idea. But if you’ve ever tried to calm yourself down by telling yourself to calm down, you know that it rarely works. That strategy may not even be possible when you’re new at it, or when you’re in the turbulence of a life-threatening illness or other situation that makes you feel unsafe, threatened, angry, or anxious. But it is possible to develop skills that, when practiced regularly in a non-crisis situation, can be summoned when needed. Here are a couple of possibilities from the yoga world:
All of these strategies (and many more) are intended to calm our Stress Response (“fight or flight”) and activate our Relaxation Response (“rest and digest”). So there are things you can DO that help achieve the state of relaxation. Perry wasn’t wrong; he just didn’t know that we can’t relax simply by telling our bodies to relax. We need to develop the practices that will help us get to that state. By the time you’re being arrested for murder, it’s probably too late to start that practice.
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I'm a Democrat. I'm an activist. I vote in every election.
I believe that our democracy is worth saving, but it requires us to show up and do the work. It's about staying strong and resilient so that we can show up. It's also about knowing ourselves well enough to contribute in ways that align with our passions, skills, and talents. There's room for everyone in this effort, but we need to build our skills of resilience to keep going and supporting each other. The slow, mindful style of yoga supports nervous system resilience and is based on the ever-growing body of evidence of the effectiveness of movement, breath, and meditation on our physiological and mental health. The events of the last several years in this country have brought increased levels of anxiety and stress to all of us. Here's an example I wrote about: "Don't tell me to calm down." I know how stressful it can be for people who are engaged in the tough work of ensuring that our democracy, our human rights, and our planet survive. I am aware of the harmful effects of stress and trauma on our bodies and minds, both short-term and long-term. But I’m also aware of the power of yoga tools, integrated into our days, to calm the chatter so that we can rest our minds and bodies. Through that rest, we can recharge and do the work that we are called to do. As my mentor Kristine Weber says: "Yoga helps you know who you are. When you know who you are, you know what to do." I've created a free slow, mindful yoga course here just for democracy activists! (And that includes anyone who cares about saving our democracy, preserving our civil rights, our reproductive rights, our right to health care, our planet.....) If you'd like access, email me for the link: [email protected] |
Until I considered yoga, I was always searching for the thing that would make me feel good in my body, mind, and soul. As I age, I want to embrace life and feel well every day.
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